What makes it worse is my brothers good friends 1 over overdosed died 6 months later and other one hung himself same way. Its so normal to have a mix of good and bad days. Katie, just hang on for your child and things will get a little better as you watch your child grow up. His wife and him started using heroin and his wife overdosed and died. What he never did was give us and he learned to read and write and graduated from high school. I am often angry at him for ruining New Years for me, and for abandoning me. It is surreal. On June 3, 2019, Anthony shot and killed his 53-year-old father, Burt Templet. Then over the last 2years his loss of marriage his relationship with his children and loss of business. Every time I see someone hold a gun to their head either in a kid or joking. im angry and im sad and i feel like im broken into a million little pieces. She was 25 & had depression. The news broke her even more. Please dont take your lack of connection here as an indication that you are alone in all of this. I had no idea it was coming but wasnt extremely surprised by it. Danielle March 31, 2021 at 10:39 pm Reply. I told all of my close friends what I was doing and they supported me. Today was the day my brother killed himself. In grief, feelings of guilt, blame, regret, and rejection can be logical, but they can also defy all logic and reason. Holidays and such have no meaning this year. The drug use continued to what ever drug he could get. Although it may not seem like it, what you are feeling is totally normal and ok. All the best to you and your son. She and all the others in the comments are in a better place. He was only human, after all, just like all of us. We all loved him deeply. Jeff called me multiple times but this one time he did not. Beyond surviving Know you can survive. There is no excuse not to in this day. And he said unto them, In what place soever ye enter into an house, there abide till ye . Hi there. I cant even put into words how i feel about it. I had recentlylearned that my best friend had just hung herself. On a dead body. Not one thing pushes a person to take their own life but often a series of things, along with distorted thinking. Im 34 now, and just had a dream he killed someone else in front of me. I lost my spouse 8 years ago . He insisted that I put our home in my name only, and he felt that I was the enemy he could not be trusted. 2023 Whats your Grief. I worry and wonder what my later life will look like, as now I am terrified of one day facing the same demise. I went outside to see what he was doing. Then he ran away. When we lost him to a sudden heart attack right in front of both of us we fell apart. I wish you and your family peace during this time. Laquita Hughes March 25, 2021 at 10:33 pm Reply, my childhood friend just killed himself and its hard because he tried to visit me a month ago. He was 28 yrs old I remember that day like it was right this second and just saying how much I loved him.I read yours and literally was sitting in that very moment all over againso much sadness. At first it felt like I was walking on top of bare blacktop, alone. I saw her last month, as I live in a different state, and she was giving away her possessions and telling us she was talking to people whod already died. Its the most vacant feeling. And I miss him terribly. Expect setbacks. The day I lost my son, I relived all of the grief of losing his father all over again and the grief of losing my son. Luke, I hope you enjoyed your first birthday up there. My heart is broken and so many questions. Did he plan this? We had been drinking and he pulled over for drunk driving. Next thing I knew it was early March and Im thinking I havent heard from him in a while, I ought to give him a call. The next thing I know, like literally a few days later, a friend in common texts me that TJ is dead! Ive never had any legal trouble in my life and am not a trouble maker. If you are reading this I hope you respond back. What I guess Im looking for is any tips on the HOW to move past this. and that scares the shit out of me. There is NO consolation for this. im glad i was not the one who found him, i was the last one to see his beautiful face and thats how i will always remember him. He was blue when I got upstairs and my wife and I tried desperately to revive him with heart massage and mouth to mouth until the ambulance arrived. I tried to reach him after hearing about the first attempt but he never contacted me. Not my baby! I gave myself time and space, and did the grief work. I should be surprised ( but Im not) that Switzerland does not have a grief support group. I am an only child but love him and his family like they are my own. That I dont think this despair will ever stop. I feel your pain and your description of your son sounds a lot like my daughter. You better be reading all those crappy romantic books you love, and fishing on heavens lakes drinking claws. I was there for himfor 29 years I was there for him. Im shattered. Jackie davis January 27, 2019 at 11:40 am Reply, My mother died by suicide February 11,2016.. next month will be 3 years . Its not pleasant to be honest, but it does help you to understand that you are not crazy nor are you alone. I tried to get help for David but never got any. Just needed to get this out somehow, somewhere, to someone. The dead body of the man I had loved every day of my life since I was 20 years old. The pain really is like no other pain I have ever experienced. They didnt seem to think he was at risk. She finally switched physicians and got the new one to prescribe her a lethal dose of a blood pressure medication that she told them she takes for migraines (she had never taken it before, I figured this out after her death by going through her emails and the possessions that the police returned to me). He suffered from PTSD, depression and the most crippling anxiety! Dear loved one: I have no answers for you; I wish I did. Hey Katharina. I lost my mother to suicide when my youngest was about a year old. I already see myself as a failure as a brother, it doesnt matter if people try to comfort me by saying otherwise. His family did not even know me since he never introduced me. I faithfully took him to his therapy appointments, weekly, for over 12 years! He was like a father at times, dad worked 3rd at a prison, Mom until 6 pm as a nurse. Luckily, when I received the horrible news, I was in the presence of my college roommates (who are also my best friends) they offered me so much love and support. I dont think it will ever get easier in a few days is my 26th birthday Im still a baby I dont have a father or mother in my life anymore. My sister who killed herself was neglected. A place to put self-posts for discussion, questions, or anything else you like. He was the love of my life. I was the last person he texted before he took his life. She suffered from poorly-treated excruciating migraines. I promis to you that I will help you . I pray for peace and acceptance. couldnt even help him fight his demons. I do struggle every day as I miss his larger than life personality ?x. He had been planning for almost a year. We just stayed on the drive way and let the paramedics go to him. You can't even comprehend the fact that he killed himself; you can't comprehend seeing it and facing it. I see all these comments and understand the shadow of some of the pains. I took him for granted and I think its been a guilt Ive held for myself for quite some time. I have been through that box so many times, but on this day i went through some of his study notes. Regards. Isabelle Siegel February 17, 2021 at 1:10 pm Reply, Johnny, Im so very sorry for your loss and for all of the pain youve been forced to endure. TJ had been the organizer for the group for two years and everyone just thought the world of him. And he knew that. My brother jumped from a roof 6 years ago; he was 32. He was from this area and had close friends he had grown up with and family, but I dont know any of them. I can still hear my mom crying at night sometimes. My bright, happy 21 year old son killed himself with a hand gun 11 years ago. In another dream, I saw him smiling at me, wearing one of his big white t-shirts with a hole in the front, with his hair all messed up, like he just woke up. I still cry quietly, sometimes. Mental illness is the most insidious because it robs one of their own sense of self. . After a whirlwind romance they married and all seemed well. The cops came and I told my brother to run home and hide bc before they got there bc he had gotten in trouble before I hadnt. We had gone to a baseball game together with a few other friends, had a great time, laughing and smiling together. What takes a person to that place. I am currently going through some of the challenges he had when he was alive. They tried to avoid my feelings when I talked about my husband over the phone as if nothing ever happened and made me feel that theyve never been happier when they hear me cry and miserable. It seems the society is brainwashed into believing that getting back someone from death is worse than the person dying. My mom hadnt been able to see my dad. I moved him back to our home after his 2nd attempt and also sent him to a rehab centre in KZN. Madison Burns January 6, 2019 at 11:54 pm Reply, My friend killed himself on 01/19/18 so nearly a year ago his family never revealed how, all the people in my grade blame themselves because we were supposed to be his friends his school family that he could turn to if he needed help I found out 2 days later On my 13th birthday and some nights it just hits so hard that hes gone, then I lost my step dad not even 8 months later some days I dont even wanna get out of bed because it hurts to much that hes gone, I dont talk as much as I used to whens hes here I miss him so much, Megan January 8, 2019 at 11:00 pm Reply. But I have to stay strong for my baby girl and husband! It isnt a piece on how to do or not do it, just a piece reflecting on how people react to suicide loss and how that is complicated. Thank you, Zane. That, god, I need him back. Youre not alone in the way you feel. To Liz (from post of 10 December 2018), you will see your brother again, of this I am sure. Though that didnt stop him from loving the heck out of his children (2 stepsons, me and my little brother) and loving my mom for 26 years. Bryan Hugh Strickland December 30, 2018 at 9:38 pm Reply. then eight months and four days later, December 18, 2008 my little brother died from asperating. My other half as he would say, had years of abandonment and insecuritie issues from a broken home as a child that were never resolved. Very jealous especially when I started getting girlfriends in high school. He was jealous and overprotective at times. Cindy Hutchinson May 18, 2016 at 6:21 am Reply, Completed sounds like hes been studying/working on suicideand then he completed it.that sounds weird to ME I always say my son took his own life through suicide. Seven years ago, I thought the worst possible thing that could ever happen, happened. Funding cuts to mental health services have done a great disservice to those who seek help before the act. This website has many resources and information about support groups for families who have lost a loved one to suicide. seems like we need to chat I have a few questions for you. Lucas February 8, 2020 at 12:19 am Reply. Because I was protecting his children we only had phone communication. Some days its the worst imaginable pain and other days you look back on the memories and smile. Jasmine April 21, 2019 at 3:11 pm Reply. The guilt I carry because of that decision has been just eating at me. She left a beautiful son age 8 who is gentle soul . But nothing we didnt hope wouldnt eventually turn good. I just miss my brother. We looked all over,in the garage and all over the house. Try not be resentful over the isolation. That was written one year before his death. I am especially angry with the psychotic medication TV commercials. It took 4 days for us to finally find him in the tree. My friend took his life with his first attempt. Whether rational or not, grieving family and friends may struggle with distressing thoughts like: When the Death Is Expected. My brother hung himself april 6, 2019. Some even share stories of them. We just put his ashes into the Atlantic ocean, which is what he wanted done with his cremated remains whenever he died. I had been waiting to be with him, at least talk to him for three years. We had plenty of great times, as we were together for 21 1/2 years, but unfortunately Im finding that the bad times are the ones that stick out most to me. Its awful God I ask why all day everyday. My prayers are with each and every one of us going through this and believe me I understand exactly what youre going through. I loved him and never loved someone like this before, we had a special relationship and we knew each other since I was 16 and he was 19. He felt he had no choice. He kept saying he was depressed and wasn't worth living. I was not always understanding of him. Especially you folks that are the ones that found your loved ones. Reading through these posts, I can only feel sympathy for those who have lost children to suicide, and shame for wallowing over my fathers suicide. Its hard for me to say he died by suicide, because it was depression that took his life. I know that she was hugging my hearth with pride when I graduated. I blame myself for not sending him to a better doctor. Said he wanted to deal with it his own way. I found him dead on my bed with his brains on the floor. When Im ready to start really getting painfully honest with myself, Ill begin to heal. Only one of my friends knew about it, because she was smart and could connect the dots from the news article that was published. Im so sorry Aibon. It shattered our familyor maybe just ended the illusion of being a family. He contacted my mother and begged her to take him back. He went to the truck and I watched him grap his 357 magnum and put it to his head and blew his brains out. The pain is unbearable. Reading these comments has helped me to see that I am not alone in my pain. Last week I learned that someone from my past had taken her own life, and I only found out five years after it happened. I pray each and every day for God to have mercy on his soul, as he has requested. She was a married women, but I learned I would do anything to keep her in my life because we had such a strong connection. Just because hes sick doesnt mean that whatever your relationship was with him before he was diagnosed is automatically reset into something wonderful. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, individualgrief is uniqueto the person experiencing it and their relationship with the person who died, Shattered assumptions about the world, oneself, and others. Until the night he passed away. My mom killed herself with a pistol in front of my dad with all of us in the house on june 8, 2020. it was so unexpected and traumatic i dont even think i have processed it yet. I relied on this money as it was quite substantial and I am unable to work. She has a four year old daughter who was in our apartment when she did this her 3 year old niece was there as well. Be extremely patient and things will definitely get a little better with time thinking of them keeps them alive. Ive been through a similar experience, my best friend abruptly took his own life just a few days ago. We are making it through, day by day. Im the one who found her.. Im in hell! I am still not sure if he was 21 or 22 since he is not barried. Not having a job plays into this I believe also. My best friends and little brother who was 22 shot himself in front of me. This article means a lot to me. He ended things two days later. Robert January 1, 2022 at 7:46 pm Reply, My son of 16 took his life 12/17/21 all over a girl that strung him along and the abuse that his mother and her boyfriend did to him. . I shot himself before his anniversary after learning she was cheating. The son I speak of hear died just 17 months after his older brother died of a self inflicted gunshot to the head. What an incredible story Im so glad you found each other and had 24 years together. He would have turned 40 in June. Its just I miss and love and regret so much now. It sounds as if the person had been working on a project or goal and finally finished it. IsabelleS December 30, 2020 at 3:43 pm Reply. He was my supervisor for only about three months before I got out of the military so I dont know why it hurts this much. We shared 2 great kids boy & girl 21 and 24 currently. Sara Jones August 10, 2020 at 2:21 pm Reply. Kayla, Im truly so sorry for your loss. Its not my atenttion take advantage of your pain. i am a newlywed with an amazing wife, friends, and job. My angelic. I wish you well and one day happiness but like me you will never forget . For whatever reason.. that was their destiny as damn terrible as it is. Im still struggling to come to terms with it. I was around your age when I had a friend kill herself. It was the guilt of being one that pushed him over the edge. They had no idea he would do this. You can't even larp properly without looking like a total fucking retard . However, I have been granted peace over many matters. I just had to reach out because our stories are a little bit similar. I keep wracking my brain looking for ways to help, but theres not much I can do. I want to see her again.
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